One of our church deacons, a barber, at the Baptist church in Auburn, Alabama, was feeling guilty because he had never witnessed for the Lord. One day a man came into his barbershop and asked for a shave.
 
"Now's my chance to make a fellow believer out of him," he thought.
 
The barber put him in a chair and lathered his face. Nervously he stuttered, "S-S-Sir, are you r-r-ready to m-m-meet the L-L-Lord?"
 
The fellow opened his eyes wide and saw the barber holding the straight razor with a shaking hand. He jumped out of his chair and took off running down the street with the drape flopping in the wind.

One Liner

Why do people go to McDonald's, order a double burger with large french fries, and insist on getting a Diet Coke?